I think I might have been molested?

This is going to sound so sick but i've been dreaming this and i'm really worried, please be serious.





Lately i've been having very disturbing dream, it's basically me, at this age (16) having sex with this member of my family, but i was so uncomfortable, it wasn't rape but it felt so wrong, in this sort of tree house made of wood which is very high, but the wood is rotten and there are cockroaches and maggots everywhere and it just feels like the tree house is going to fall down at any time, outside its like this cloudy, dark, full of mud landscape like a hurricane just passed by there and made a mess.



then he finishes and he just throws the condom in the floor and i'm so repulsed i don't even move, then he leaves, just like that, and i stay there. then i wake up



i've had this dream about 4 times in the past year and it's really freaking me out. I don't like this person in a sexual way, he's a lot older than me and he's had addiction problems, my mom has asked me in the past if he ever molested me, i obviously said no because to be honest, i don't remember any major traumas in my life, even though i think i have dissociative amnesia, and i've suspected of being molested even before she asked me.



if it helps here's some background.



- I tried to kill myself when i was 13

- Had an eating disorder for 4 years (11-15)

- Was a cutter for about three years, but i remember hurting myself ever since i was 8

- I don't remember certain things, for example my mom went on a vacation and left me home with this family member and i just don't remember anything of that time, just waving goodbye and then meeting her again, the rest is blank, also holidays and stuff like that with him are totally gone.



To be honest i don't know what to think, maybe all this is created by me, i don't know, i really need your opinion



Thanks anyway for reading, this is soo long! :)I think I might have been molested?
it sounds very possible. only therapy can help you figure it out. you don't want to start developing other self-destructive behaviors. no shame at all in getting help, it wasn't your fault!
Your case is just different hope it be a help...

Well you have to ask consultations from psychologist, you were not that sure if those malicious acts ever happened, they may help you by means maybe of hypnotism for you to dig your deepest and faintest memories.I think I might have been molested?
You seem like you have some issues you need to work out with a psychiatrist. If you've had mental health problems (yes, what you just described isn't mentally sound) since you were 8, you need to address the issue ASAP.
I'm not sure if this is the right advice to give..but you need some kind of therapy, you have been through a lot..maybe counselling, a psychiatrist or hypnotherapy to make you remember?I think I might have been molested?
I had a dream also a while back about my step dad doing that to me. It has me thinking because it was so real and I couldn't stop thinking about it for a while. Maybe its best to leave it alone.
Therapy
only you will be able to find out if this really happened, no one on here can help beacuse we dont know your family and cant investgate it for you....
a hypnotist would be able to find out !
oh God, im so sorry that you are experiencing this - I don't know, but i do suggest that you do go and see a professional and talk about it. I am just after finishing a book by Martha Beck its called "Leaving the Saints" and she had a similar experience in the sense that she could only remember certain parts of her childhood. defo seek professional help. sorry i can't be of any assistance :)
Ok first of all ignore the answer about hypnosis, I am a hypnotist and it should never be used to retrieve past memories because it is too easy to instead plant them. There are ways to avoid this but only the very best hypnotists understand them, so avoid that. However there are other ways to find out what happened if you really want to know. First of all realize that often dreams are the first place your mind will release past memories that were previously blocked out because you couldn't handle them. In other words you may just be getting to the point where you are mature enough to deal with past memories and they may continue to surface over the next few years if you let them. If you push you may cause them to surface before you are fully ready to deal with them, so if you want to try to remember, please make sure you have a regular female counselor who you trust and feel comfortable talking to about these things. You may feel ready to deal with past memories but our mind represses them for a reason and judging by your other issues you will definitely need help dealing with them. I don't want to go into the details of how to retrieve repressed memories because dangerous ones like this shouldn't be retrieved without a regular counselor who can make sure you don't become suicidal etc again, so please get one. Remember, you don't have to let these past memories define you, however it is normal that overcoming the feelings they create takes a great deal of effort. The problem is that since your unconscious mind still remembers whatever happened it may cause you to have fears of physical contact with men or other problems. The area where hypnosis can be very helpful is in overcoming these issues, or putting bad memories behind you. Instead of using it to try and dig up the past, use it to overcome the negative emotions that the past has caused you and move forward. This is a very complicated issue to deal with so like I said, try to find a personal counselor that you feel comfortable with.
yea well maybe you repress everything you've done when he's around because he had molested you. just a thought and well I wouldn't dwell on it because you can't remember so if you want him locked up it's not gonna happen. and I would just be more careful and aware when he's around.



oh and btw i've heard that you can unlock memories with hypnosis.

lol but that was in movies and t.v. shows and stuff.
listen. first of all, i hope to god u've seen a psychiatrist, not an insult, a suggestion. 2nd, it doesn't necessarily mean that u've been molested. i have a horrible memory to. i barely remember things that have happened. it takes alot of brain power to remember. in any case, just relax, and remember these dreams dont mean any necessarily. but dont go emo please, and just try and get on with life. ask this family member about it and talk to them about whats been happening. they should understand :)