Was I molested .?

This is going to sound so sick but i've been dreaming this and i'm really worried, please be serious.





Lately i've been having very disturbing dream, it's basically me, at this age (16) having sex with this member of my family, but i was so uncomfortable, it wasn't rape but it felt so wrong, in this sort of tree house made of wood which is very high, but the wood is rotten and there are cockroaches and maggots everywhere and it just feels like the tree house is going to fall down at any time, outside its like this cloudy, dark, full of mud landscape like a hurricane just passed by there and made a mess.



then he finishes and he just throws the condom in the floor and i'm so repulsed i don't even move, then he leaves, just like that, and i stay there. then i wake up



i've had this dream about 4 times in the past year and it's really freaking me out. I don't like this person in a sexual way, he's a lot older than me and he's had addiction problems, my mom has asked me in the past if he ever molested me, i obviously said no because to be honest, i don't remember any major traumas in my life, even though i think i have dissociative amnesia, and i've suspected of being molested even before she asked me.



if it helps here's some background.



- I tried to kill myself when i was 13

- Had an eating disorder for 4 years (11-15)

- Was a cutter for about three years, but i remember hurting myself ever since i was 8

- I don't remember certain things, for example my mom went on a vacation and left me home with this family member and i just don't remember anything of that time, just waving goodbye and then meeting her again, the rest is blank, also holidays and stuff like that with him are totally gone.



To be honest i don't know what to think, maybe all this is created by me, i don't know, i really need your opinion



Thanks anyway for reading, this is soo long! :)Was I molested .?
I've done some work with people who have been molested in their life so I hope I can help a little here. Here's one of the problems with someone who has been molested, they don't see it as having been molested, it was just a part of growing up and many will go past it over and over again not even wanting to stop and look at it because it seems so 'normal'. But it wasn't and it does come back to haunt you. I would like for you to try this exercise and see what happens, it might surprise you and even answer your question in the process. Try writing a letter to this person and ask them what happened and why you feel the way you do. But when you write it, write it with your wrong hand and see if anything else comes to light in doing so. Let me know if it does would you?Was I molested .?
It's possible. It sounds like something happened to you at some point. Tell your mom about the dreamsWas I molested .?
When was the last visit with your therapist/counselor? You may need to try a new therapist because the one you have may not bee as effective as could be. I am neither but I do know that if something is not working fix it. If you recently changed medications that may be the cause memory lapse. mental issues are not something to be taken lightly. If you want to get better as all of us do, take it one day at a time and try not to dwell on things that you can not change. Do not take matters into your your own hands,as this can only leave pain for the ones left behind