I have almost every other symptom. (see below) But could it simply be a combination of Bipolar, Depression, and Anxiety manifesting into a full-time state of dissociation?
(*Please do no suggest "seek a therapist," etc. I am asking on YA because I cannot see one currently.)
Symptoms:
- distortion or loss of subjective time
- depersonalization (feeling unreal, removed from one's self, and detached from one's physical and mental processes) (A LOT of outer body experiences with this one, a lot!)
- derealization (experiencing familiar persons and surroundings as if they were unfamiliar and strange or unreal) (Daily)
- amnesia
- lack of intimacy and personal connections
- frequent panic/anxiety attacks
- auditory hallunications (not of Alters, but of random noices (If I try to sleep without white noice my mind will flood with fuzzy, radio commercial broadcasts, a jumble of people talking, getting louder, and louder, and louder, until I open my eyes at night, and it ends, beginnning again whenI shut them)
- Visual Hallucinations (everything changes daily, in color, texture, size, length, height. I can see the air, things get too fuzzy, or WAY to clear or sharp, object get HUGE and I'll shrink into a chair, colors brighter or dull like with Photoshop, ect.
- disorganized and unusual thinking and speech (SEVERE; loss of train of thought and subject flow, pre-spoken thoughts do not "flow" or "come out" right. I can't think deeply anymore, my thinking won't assemble, it's just empty, and won't process. Reading is a horrible struggle!)
- Depression
Any suggestions or idea of what this is if it isn't D.I.D.?Dissociative Identity Disorder- w/o the alters?
First, there are other dissociative disorders besides DID and it could possibly be one of those. It could also be caused by severe depression. One thing to think about though is that people with DID spend many years NOT knowing about the alters. Most folks with DID do not know that they have alters until they enter therapy or someone points them out to them. Hearing static noises like you describe is common with DID. Unfortunately, and this is not what you want to hear, the only treatment is therapy. There are no self help books for DID and doing so would be dangerous. If its the other stuff- severe depression, or another disorder, then given your symptoms, I think you are at a point where you certainly need therapy to move forward. Many therapists offer services on a sliding scale for low income clients. Some places even offer free counseling. If you think it is a dissociative problem, you should get in contact with a therapist who specializes in dissociative disorders. You can get referrals here-
http://www.isst-d.org/Directory/memberlo鈥?/a>
http://sidran.org/sub.cfm?sectionID=5Dissociative Identity Disorder- w/o the alters?
I live in the Midwest, and I have DID. To say no one knows anything about DID in the Midwest is a falsehood. However, you DO need to see a doctor who has experience with dissociative disorders as not all doctors "believe" in DID or know how to diagnose it. The links given can provide names of Drs.
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Dissociative Identity Disorder- w/o the alters?Honestly consider getting a neuro eval. or seeing a MD. Sounds like the problem could actually be tumor related in the brain. You should rule that out immediately. People are quick to throw pysch drugs around and in fact there are times that the cause is structural and the drugs merely toy with the real problem. Good luck
I believe your major problem is a high degree of overactive imagination and fantasy. It seems you also have access to medical information without the background to understand it.
In the extremely unlikely case that you are being truthful (as you perceive truth) with this and your other questions, you most likely have Schizophrenia and are a time bomb.
You need in patient therapy managed by a Board certified psychiatrist.
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