This is going to sound so sick but i've been dreaming this and i'm really worried, please be serious.
Lately i've been having very disturbing dream, it's basically me, at this age (16) having sex with this member of my family, but i was so uncomfortable, it wasn't rape but it felt so wrong, in this sort of tree house made of wood which is very high, but the wood is rotten and there are cockroaches and maggots everywhere and it just feels like the tree house is going to fall down at any time, outside its like this cloudy, dark, full of mud landscape like a hurricane just passed by there and made a mess.
then he finishes and he just throws the condom in the floor and i'm so repulsed i don't even move, then he leaves, just like that, and i stay there. then i wake up
i've had this dream about 4 times in the past year and it's really freaking me out. I don't like this person in a sexual way, he's a lot older than me and he's had addiction problems, my mom has asked me in the past if he ever molested me, i obviously said no because to be honest, i don't remember any major traumas in my life, even though i think i have dissociative amnesia, and i've suspected of being molested even before she asked me.
if it helps here's some background.
- I tried to kill myself when i was 13
- Had an eating disorder for 4 years (11-15)
- Was a cutter for about three years, but i remember hurting myself ever since i was 8
- I don't remember certain things, for example my mom went on a vacation and left me home with this family member and i just don't remember anything of that time, just waving goodbye and then meeting her again, the rest is blank, also holidays and stuff like that with him are totally gone.
To be honest i don't know what to think, maybe all this is created by me, i don't know, i really need your opinion
Thanks anyway for reading, this is soo long! :)|||from the information in your question, it can't be determined if you were sexually molested or not, but it's is definitely a possibility. this is something your going to have to work out, because people like me who are too far outside of the situation can only do so much. don't be afraid to go to a professional, maybe at school, who you can talk to and who can help you.
it is very common for people to completely block out traumatic experiences in their lives. just know that you aren't alone and that it isn't your fault for what might have happened, and it isn't your fault for not remembering.
the dream itself is definitely a clue to what might have happened. dreams like that aren't completely unusual- many people might have a scary dream like that- but after reading your description it sounds like there's more to the story than just a weeks worth of dreams.
it sound like you've had some other problems in the past, and all of them are punishments you create that are directed at yourself. ask yourself, why do you think this is? what are you upset about, and why are you blaming yourself for it? (you don't have to answer these questions to anyone but yourself)
i know it's painful, but i can assure you that whatever might have happened, it wasn't your fault, and you shouldn't feel the need to be angry at yourself.
the best advice i can give you is to find someone professional who you can talk to and who can help you with that sort of thing. i know a lot of people who were molested when they were kids- and it makes a WORLD of a difference once they start facing the things they are afraid of and changing their life for the better. also, i would not allow yourself to be alone with the man you are referring to in the question.
i wish you the best, and i hope everything works out! you'll be ok, don't worry!|||It's probably one of the two below...
a) The dream is of a spirit entitity (a demon) coming to you in your sleep and sexually assaulting you.
b) It's your relative projecting his spirit on you during your sleep and assaulting you.|||Okay, I think I can offer something helpful to you, if you stay with me while I give you some background about dreams and meanings. First of all, dreams are productions that we create from our inner mind, subconscious, that IS us and KNOWS what we need. Therefore there is meaning in the dream, and it's not some outside entity. Second of all and no less important is the recurrent dream, which is our inner self's way of presenting something for you to WORK with time and time again. I encourage you to work through this dream!
Let's begin with the clearest symbol, the treehouse, and only later go on to the sexual encounter with the relative. Now, houses are *where we live* and dreams of houses denote our own minds, our deeper selves, the inner I. Something is eating away at Treehouse. To be sure its both the eating disorder you overcame (congratulations by the way!) and the cutting...two self-destructive actions that are causing Treehouse to be gnawed at, and dear Treehouse is just falling apart. Now comes this relative, who violates you. With the tree wide open, cast to the wind, and unstable, this relative so easily violates your person. So here's the part where your feelings must take the lead in understanding your dream: I will ask you if your instincts tell you that the relative A) represents general openness to being violated as a result of self-destructive tendencies B) represents a part of you that actually violates yourself via the cutting and anorexia; C) represents the actual relative and repressed memories of being violated by him.
If you can try and be a determined, quick study, I can try and be a determined, quick teacher and show you a self-therapy technique called Gestalt, that can give you the keys to tremendous self-discovery through your dream. I urge you to try, as dreams are the most valuable of all to help us, as they come from within and are not arbitrary. So here goes:
1) Start with the Treehouse. Be the Treehouse, as if you are it in the present tense in your dream, and speak. For example: "I am open and am sometimes violated by other creatures, they eat away at me, the wind blows me every which way, I feel like I can't do anything about it because..." Get the idea? Whatever Treehouse has to say is liable to be a hundred times more insightful than my example.
2) Now, be the relative in your dream. Describe what you are doing. Explain why you are doing it. Tell your feelings about it. This part is very important - here, you can realize what the relative represents, if something really happened, and what the real story is.
3) Play the part of YOU in the dream. How to you feel in the Treehouse? What happens to you with the relative? How does that make you feel? What do you want to do about it?
4) The CONFLICT: now that you have found out what the relative stands for, and what conflict you are dealing with in the dream, now go outside of the dream and act out, in an imaginary conversation, the resolution of the conflict! Play yourself again, and talk to the relative and the Treehouse, telling them what you NEED to resolve things. For example, you might get something really powerful, like "I may be a tree that can't get away, but nothing has a right to get inside me and eat away at me, as trees are meant to be stronger and stronger, as I will be," and you may get to tell off that relative, whatever he represents.
I sincerely wish you good luck and hope this has helped you. I hope you have learned that YOU ARE IN CONTROL and that it is okay to ask for help, from a therapist, from your family to be supportive, it's OK to say no, it's OK to be in the driver's seat. It's OK to be GOOD to yourself as you exercise control of yourself...Peace and blessings! :-)|||well i can understand ur feelings cause i had the same sort of dreams few months back.whenever i woke up after such a dream i used to feel very guilty.the more i thought the more i was freaked out.but yeah thanks to my exams i totally forgot abt those dreams and i dont remember dreaming nething like those again.so my suggestion is just try to ignore those dreams and maybe u could get over it.|||Sex without rape, but still feeling bad, especially with the rotten state of the environment described in the dream, strongly suggests molestation.
The tree house represents where your subconscious put the actual memory of the experience at, seperating it from the regular house. The wreckage, the storm being passed, suggests the actual incident is in the past. Because it is a bad experience, it 'rots' everything around it, which is why the wood has stuff inside of it, icky stuff. Also, the wood is decaying because the barriers your subconscious mind made in order to protect you from the experience are no longer needed. An 8 year old has more important things to worry about (like surviving) where a 16 year old has to start dealing with the adult world and adult things, some of which aren't always nice.
Because the molestation occured at a period of time when you didn't understand the act, the person's reaction to the act, or their reason behind it, you misinterpreted their disgust as being personal. An 8 year old sees mommy yell at them, they think they did something to make mommy mad. It's not until they are older that they realize mommy can be mad for other reasons and yell at them because they were there at the time. Whether or not they intentionally made you feel the disgust or it happened spontaneously, the result was the same.
The suicide attempts, eating disorders, cutting, the blank spot in the memory, the identity crisis, all point to earlier childhood trauma, and since your nightmare is sexual in nature, the trauma is most likely sexual in origin. Even if he only molested you that one time, every time you had been in that room would have created/reinforced that negative association, which is why your mind scrubbed the memories from your mind. Statistically, relative sexual abuse tends to be repetitive, since abuser/victim have more contact and already established patterns of behavior. Whether that was true in this case is beside the point; the evidence strongly suggests it happened at least once, probably on or before your 8th birthday (the earliest symptom you mention.)|||I don't have much to say about your dream...except that it's trying to tell you something.
I'm sorry sweety, from your question and the background you give, it seems like this family member molested you.
I have a family member (i will call him "George") that was molested by another family member (i will call him "A**hole) when he was younger. He was only 5-6 yrs old and the molester was another male, maybe 16-17 @ the time...
"george" didn't remember anything that had happened throughout his adolescent and most of his teenage years. Until one summer, we all went away for a vacation in FL, where it happens that this other relative had moved. Now it's years later and the molester now has a wife and a family. Our family had no idea of what had been going on, and my uncle had contacted these family members just for a "family reunion" if you will.
Once "George" saw him, he just started throwing up, and said he can't be here. That night he remember everything that happened to him.
Please, try talking to someone, a guidance counselor can help. It seems you have a good relationship with you mom, ask her for help.
I hope this helps, and i'm sorry for everything that you have had to go through|||Ok sweetie , Im sorry that this dream is occuring , The fact that in the dream you are having sex with a family member sugguest that
you are not to give into temptation , no matter whi tries to pursuade you ..regret will follow . Because it takes places in a house that is rotten and full of incects , suggests that you are misplaced , you
want to know for sure about this person , not the person that is in
your dream .. There is something that you need to find , perhaps
a broken retlionship , or a someone in your family ? Is someone
gone, missing ? You u my dear have suffered enufff , trying to kill yourself at 13 , eating disorder , and a cutter , which now comes
to the dream again , Cloudy , dark , hurricane reflects on what has happen to you , the cutting , the disorder of eating , trying to kill yourself , your dreams are a way of telling you that this is almost over .
the mess you find the condom , its an end , not a beginning , you ]
sweetie will find the peace you so want , the dreams will pass , and you will live as a normal 16 year old .. All dreams have meanings
and they reflect on our lives , Yours suggest an answer , a will to find
one , and you will , Hold on sweetie , I see stars around you ...
Best to you .|||maybe you're just into incest... in most cultures it's wrong but you can't help it, in my opinion it is wrong, but your subconcious tells me that this is your fantasy because it's happened this many times although your concious mind disagrees. also youve had some trauma in the past which may have altered your conciousness but you irrevicably remain human ergo vis-a-vis concordantly.|||My honest opinion is that this person has molested you. You say you don't remember that time when your mom left only waving goodbye. Who knows if he really did do something to you and it was so traumatizing or like you said about the amnesia thing, and so you start remembering things during your dreams?! The maggots and rot that you were dreaming sounds like the emotions that were running through you in the dream, such as filthy, dirty, disgusting, etc.
On the other hand sometimes dreams are just dreams. Do you have any problem with this family member, any conflicts or arguments? Maybe it could also mean that you want a relationship or maybe reach out to help this person? Usually in dreams I've read that it's not about what your dreaming its actually the key objects and emotions in that dream that we should be trying to interpret.|||I THINK YOU NEED TO GO TO CHURCH AND SEEK GOD, CAUSE SOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN U WAS YOUNG THAT YOU PROBABLY CHOSE TO FORGET ABOUT IN LIFE MANY PEOPLE CHOOSE TO BLOCK OUT PIECES OF THERE PAST THAT WHERE EITHER HURTFUL OR SADDEN TO THERE MIND FRAME OF LIFE. I AM NO PSYCHOLOGIST, BUT MY HONEST OPINION IS TO TURN TO GOD HE WILL FORGIVE YOU AND WATCH OVER YOU.
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