Please read!!!! Characters and bio!!!! Need opinions?

MAIN CHARACTERS-

Delilah

Kevin

Daniel

Connor

Now a little about them : )

Delilah is self conscious, innocent, fragile, smart, beautiful, and is dying to get out of her shell. she is still trying to cope with the fact her parents are dead and she doesn't even know where her only living relative(her brother) is, she has a very rare case of dissociative amnesia(she cant remember anything before the night her parents died). Will she ever find him again? can she ever love again without hurting? And can she let go? Delilah has long wavy caramel colored hair that has a silky look to it. she has big hazel eyes that are irresistible, and she has a beautiful slim hour glass body that makes every boy stare. she has flawless fair skin.



Kevin is strong, sullen, kind, handsome, mysterious, soft spoken, and so very gentle. Besides the fact that he is a vampire he is plagued by a curse that has tortured him his whole life. every woman that he will ever love will die. he cant help but blame himself for their deaths. but will he fall in love again, and if he can, can he save innocent Delilah from death itself? Kevin has sad light grey eyes that have a hypnotic quality no girl can resist. He is very soft spoken but every word carries. His midnight black hair is always in his face and almost demands you run your fingers through it. His body is well built, like a football players. He has a scar that starts on his shoulder bade and goes down for a few inches. he has a perfect smile and perfect lips that are just begging to be nibbled on. his skin is pale and irresistibly smooth.



Daniel is sexy, dangerous, sneaky, strong, and the perfect player. When this vampire sees Delilah for the first time he decides to stay and figure out what鈥檚 so great about her and why she looks so delicious. Soon Daniel notices Kevin. how drawn he is to Delilah, And how strongly she feels for him. Later he notices that it isn鈥檛 only Kevin who finds Delilah irresistible. a hybrid named Connor thinks so too. Daniel knows how quick he could kill those two, but he soon realizes that he has fallen in love with the beautiful Delilah and knows how much it would hurt her to do something to either of them. will he risk hurting Delilah to get to them, or will his love for her over power the way he feels for them? Daniel has eerie golden brown eyes that seem to look right through you鈥?into your soul. His blue black hair brings out the dark arrogance in his eyes. His voice is always tinged with sarcasm and he seems to always tell the truth. his lips are beautifully shaped and look VERY kissable. He has a very well built body and likes to show it off by wearing tight clothes. he has flawless pale skin.



Connor is strong, handsome, well mannered, athletic, popular, trust worthy, kind hearted, and very trusting. Connor seems like the all American boy, but he has a terrifying secret that could put everyone he knows in danger. he is a hybrid. half vampire half ware wolf. Connor knew Delilah his whole life and always loved her. a few days before her parents died he left so he could learn how to control his horrible curse. when he came back she was gone and so was her family. now, 2 years later, she returns even more beautiful than before and he's falling in love with her all over again, but can he keep her safe from all his secrets? and will she forgive him for leaving her? Connors cobalt-blue eyes express emotions in a ways no words can. His windblown dirty blond hair looks like the sand right before the sun sets on a beach. He has an athletes body. His perfect lips are full, and absolutely mesmerizing . his skin is olive colored.

I changed it a little from the first peice. wanted to know if you would still read it if i changed it around a bit. =]Please read!!!! Characters and bio!!!! Need opinions?
Hi there,

I think your very ambitious for writing your own novel and think you did do a good job describing your characters, but there are a lot of problems i saw that follow amateur writers and i don't want to offend you by pointing them out in a strong way, so i'll try to soften it a bit.



All of your characters are too perfect: They each very attractive (so you say) in at least one way, and irresistible to the other sex, as well as popular. That is unrealistic for a novel and just plain annoying for your readers as nobody wants to read about perfect people making perfect decisions loved by everybody but who secretly has so all these alluring problems. Not only is it annoying, but it is hard for people to get into your characters this way. You give your character's these traits that are unrealistic (for a person, not for a vampire, but what i mean is personality wise, not powers or anything like that) and too attractive = to fake and unattractive to the audience. The theme seems cliche and overused, as does the vampires, werewolves, and hybrids, but if you spin it the right way, you can pull if off. Don't get me wrong, you have some good building blocks, but i think that you need to do some serious re-looking to make your story original and appealing. Good luck with your writingPlease read!!!! Characters and bio!!!! Need opinions?
WOW THIS IS AWESOME! I am also writing a book! I would love to read yours. I would also like to learn a little more about Kevin!

:)

LOVE%26lt;3

%26lt;3Please read!!!! Characters and bio!!!! Need opinions?
Just a quick note to say that you don't want ALL of your characters to be good looking, it may cheese some people off ;)
it sounds like a rip-off version of twilight.